He HAS to Give Up Old Tools (Step 6) – 3.06S

Porn addiction, betrayal and lies can wreck a couple. An addict has to be ready to release his old coping mechanisms. Jay and Lori also cover their experience with addiction and fear, as well as what surrender looks like. They also address the difference between Savior and Boss.

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro & Step 6 (Preparing for this…)
1:55 “Being entirely ready” means getting rid of ‘tools’ that help only me
3:08 Jesus appears to ask a stupid question but it applies to addicts***
4:52 But those tools have been effective in these ways…
5:18 Why it’s challenging (and how it’s played out in Jay’s life)

He HAS to Admit It (Betrayal Pain and Step 5 Cautions) – 3.05S

This Step is about addicts not lying to themselves anymore—and not hiding the truth about themselves anymore. It’s about getting real, and why.

In this episode we cover:
-Step 5 of the 12-Steps
-How Jay switched harmful addictions
-How there are different layers to addiction and lust…

Restoring Sanity (12-Step cautions for betrayal pain) – 3.02S

The addict’s ways are a type of insanity, and in order to get better, he has to depend on a Power greater than himself to restore him to sanity.  A wife need him to do this, but even if he doesn’t, she can still be RESTORED!

This episode covers:
-Step 2 of the 12 Steps of Addiction Recovery
-Believing in a Power greater than ourselves
-The root of

Addiction Recovery & Betrayal Trauma: Step 1 (His Powerlessness)

While our relationships may become unsustainable as betrayed wives, this episode shares tips for our partner’s recovery, what powerlessness is and isn’t, as well as how his addiction destroys trust.  

Here’s a summary:
-Step 1 of the 12 Steps
-How it reflects the steps toward God
-What heals more quickly

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:34 What this season is based on
2:04 Step 1’s key phrases
2:27 What Jay sees with the guys he works with
3:02 A different perspective on our powerlessness
3:57 The difficulty Jay had with this step

Betrayal Trauma: Season 2 Recap (& “Me Being Stupid” : ) – 2.18S

Hello Ladies,

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this website, and for that I apologize.  I’ve continued writing, and mentoring and leading groups, and those activities on top of the horrible events of last year kept me from making it out here like I wanted.

(For an update as well as a behind the scenes look into our life, check out Episode 3.0 where we talk about what happened to us in 2020.)

This post is all about the true end goal of recovery:  JOY.

So I hope you enjoy the blooper reel, which is what I call “basically, me being stupid”  : )