How can a guy keep himself from mistreating–or even abusing–his partner? And how do you even start talking about those behaviors? Those are a couple of topics we discuss with author Matthew Fray in this video.
Are safety and trust the same thing? This video will look at safety and trust from different angles, and it also covers why a guy may get defensive over those topics, and “What if the guy doesn’t change?”
In the continued conversation with Matt Fray, we cover a few different kinds of guys, including guys who get defensive, guys who fix, guys who ‘don’t get it,’ and guys who are teachable. We also discuss why Lori would say, “That’s not how relationships work,” and why Matt would say, “Can you just care?”
How does validation heal broken trust… especially if he constantly chooses himself over her? And how can he conquer the monsters betrayal usually brings? We discuss these with Matt Fray in this video, as well as how just agreeing on the surface can harm relationships.
This video covers 3 places guys get stuck in broken trust, how he can connect with her pain after broken trust, and what to know if a guy is saying, “Aren’t you over that yet?”.
Disagreements can lead to 3 types of invalidation, as well as 1 unique way invalidation erodes trust–especially when she feels he doesn’t understand her pain. We discuss this with Matt Fray, as well as a couple things the guy can do instead.
Why is validation one quick way to heal trust? Because without it she will have a difficult time healing within the relationship. This video covers that concept, as well as why sexual affairs may be easier than emotional affairs. (Jay and I also talk about the guys we have a difficult time helping.)
What’s the first thing a guy should do if he’s harmed the relationship, and what can make him “get it” more quickly? Also what can the lady do if his goal is to have an affair? We discuss those topics with author Matt Fray.
Unfortunate ideas can get twisted in a person’s mind, leading them to have affairs; ideas like, “But if my wife were the right person…” We discuss this with author Matt Fray, and we also cover the question: Are emotional affairs truly affairs–and what can make it all less difficult?
Can porn use and lies lead to PTSD? And what can be done when someone says, “Why won’t you lighten up?” We cover those topics in our continued talk with author, Matt Fray.
Are her needs more important than his? No, but as you’ll see in this video, his most important needs are usually already met. Our female clients can’t say the same, and this reduces feelings of safety. But is safety actually a need?
This video gives some keys to successful relationships.
Porn addiction, betrayal and lies can wreck a couple. An addict has to be ready to release his old coping mechanisms. Jay and Lori also cover their experience with addiction and fear, as well as what surrender looks like. They also address the difference between Savior and Boss.
0:00 Intro & Step 6 (Preparing for this…)
1:55 “Being entirely ready” means getting rid of ‘tools’ that help only me
3:08 Jesus appears to ask a stupid question but it applies to addicts***
4:52 But those tools have been effective in these ways…
5:18 Why it’s challenging (and how it’s played out in Jay’s life)
This Step is about addicts not lying to themselves anymore—and not hiding the truth about themselves anymore. It’s about getting real, and why.
In this episode we cover:
-Step 5 of the 12-Steps
-How Jay switched harmful addictions
-How there are different layers to addiction and lust…
Withholding information (also known as lying) is common, especially with porn and sex addiction. That’s why this step is crucial to…
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