(Now, some guys don’t want to quit using porn–it’s just a fact–but this article is about the guys who are seeking a life beyond it.)
Your guy probably fully believes he can quit porn. That, if it were up to him, he’d be able to quit, no problem.
Unfortunately, if he’s been using it a long time, it’s not going to be that easy.
That’s why guys can be completely sincere about wanting to stop, while at the same time, being unable to do so.
But the worst part? The partner picks up on his sincerity (and his belief that he can easily quit), so she’s that much more destroyed when he doesn’t.
Here’s how it usually happens the first couple of times in a relationship:
He confesses or is found out.
He feels exposed.
His intense shame causes him to really want to quit porn.
He sees how it affects her.
His love for her rises up and wants to stop her pain.
So he’s completely sincere when he promises to quit.
She senses how serious he is about quitting.
She picks up on his sincerity.
She believes him.
Then he fails.
And she’s even more heartbroken because she believed him.
But she only believed him because he was being sincere when he promised to stop.
was mixed with his
lack of knowledge about
how difficult it is to quit,
and that’s what makes it worse.
So ladies, he may not be lying when he says he wants to quit using porn; he may just mistakenly think it will be easy to do so on his own.