The Hurt and the Healer

Now I’m not one to offer trite advice or insensitive encouragement. The devastation of betrayal leaves no room for the damage that can cause, so I certainly don’t offer this post that way. But I felt led to offer some encouragement today.

The women who face this devastation head-on usually come to the end of themselves… but God is there too.

At my last “D-Day,” I decided that I was going to get something out of the crappy situation.  And even if “all” that came of it was living alone, just me and God, there was something comforting in that thought.

While I can’t say where your relationship with your husband will end up, I do know this: Your relationship with God can become closer because of this mess.

This is where the strong undercurrent of peace and contentment can be created.

Not the be-a-good-girl-and-put-on-a-fake-smile pseudo-peace, but a

deep, abiding, unshakable peace

no matter what your husband does.

It’s something worth aiming for.

It’ll take a good amount of hard work, but you can get there!

Before we get to the video, how has this affected your relationship with God?

 

Comments 6

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  1. I am 2 years and 4 months into my healing, and I still struggle with spiritual issues. Part of the shock that I experienced was facing that I WAS struggling with spiritual issues that I thought were settled in my life–the sovereignty of God, the goodness of God, God’s love for me, His divine peace, etc. (“God, I prayed about who to marry. I thought you told me he was the one. How could you have done that knowing the pain I would face now?”) The worst part was not being able to hear God speak to me–not that His word didn’t minister to me when I read the Bible–but He wouldn’t answer my question “Do I stay with him or leave him?” But as time passed, my questions began to change. I began to accept that God wanted to do work on me, too. Now it’s not so much “God, why is he still doing this?” as it is “God, help me to have your perspective. ” Well, at least on my better days. The shocking thing was that I had always taught my children & people in my Sunday School class that they had to determine who they believed God was & what His character was, because they would need to cling to that when they encountered a really tough time, even the worst thing they could think of. Because God does not change. But when I hit my worst time, I couldn’t even remember my advice to others. Maybe I don’t always appreciate God being patient with others, but I sure appreciate His patience with me. When God says nothing can separate me from His love, that means not my doubts or my questions, or even my angry accusations against Him. Our God is an awesome God! And I LOVE that song–I don’t think I’ve ever paid attention to it before. Thank you for including it in your blog!

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      Oh, Esther Faith! I am so glad you wrote what you did… it’s a great synopsis of your spiritual journey.

      Some of your words really caught my eye: “…I had always taught my children & people in my Sunday School class that they had to determine who they believed God was & what His character was, because they would need to cling to that when they encountered a really tough time, even the worst thing they could think of. Because God does not change. But when I hit my worst time, I couldn’t even remember my advice to others.”

      To me this is the crappy part of betrayal… of life really. That we can be faced with such hard times that it shakes the very foundation that kept us standing for so long. To me, this is where God comes in–overriding our belief-foundation to become our foundation. (I’m not saying your initial foundation was off base, but mine certainly was.)

      I heard it before, “You can’t say, ‘God is all you need,’ until God is all you have.” Sooo true for women after betrayal.

      The other truth is that, like studies have shown, we can become stronger through all of this… and that is what I see happened in your own life.

  2. It has taken me deeper with God. Because I am learning to TRUST Him in areas I did not realize that I was trusting in my husband or making choices out of fear (which are NEVER good). God has surrounded me with the support that has been amazing and I see His hand in it all. Even the pain.

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      Hello again, In His Grip! It’s amazing that you can see God’s hand in even the pain–it makes me wonder what He will turn it all into for you. You’ve REALLY been through it, and yet you’ve come out the other side. Sure you may still have your hard days, but what you write here shows me you’re also getting stronger. I am so glad you have a new, more supportive family to surround yourself with. I can’t wait to see what opens up for you.

      (Such strong faith–and beautiful too! I know you’ll likely say it came from God, but I just wanted to mention it anyway : )

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