Today’s Thought: What to Look For

For a righteous man falls seven times…

And

Rises

Again.

–Ancient Saying

A wise woman told me long ago:  It’s one thing for a guy to gladly and willfully live a hidden life.  It’s another for a guy to struggle against porn.

So, your guy: does he love it or does part of him really hate it?

Comments 2

  1. He’s said to me for the 4th time over 10 years that he has stopped.
    Even over this time I asked him over and over, do you hate it?
    His reply. “No, it’s how men are wired.”
    Then he would go into some rant about how it is impossible for men to escape, how women pictures and porn trigger men.

    I asked him again recently, as we are really facing this head on now, after 6 years of lieing.
    And he told me that he “is not watching”.[side note: I have put down guidelines for an in house separation, so being physically intimate is off the table for the moment. ] He then continued to say “Of course, it has been hard though to not turn to it. I want intimacy, and that makes it harder on me. Of course I want to turn to porn and masturbation, I want to fill the intimacy we are not having.”

    He never said he wanted me, he said he wanted porn and himself to satisfy what he feels he is missing. I realized at that point, that I am not actually a part of his equation, when it comes to fulfilling what he calls “intimacy”. And yet, he puts it out there that I am damaging our relationship by putting up the boundary, that says “No bedroom acts, until I can feel safe with you”.

    I am talking to a wall. An unrepentant, unempathetic wall. Of course he loves his porn, it’s the only thing he is deserving to go back to.

  2. Pingback: Want Him to Get Help (What to Know) | Porn Pain Healed

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