As I was going over past writings to find something to add to this blog, I felt led to share something brand new, probably because Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.
In the early stages of my healing I read the Bible, and the harder hitting words slapped me around. Maybe I was a glutton for punishment, but I actually searched for these reprimands, thinking “If I just get it right, maybe then the pain will stop.”
For me, it didn’t work. The pain didn’t stop.
Years later, when I was exhausted from trying to do all this the ‘right’ way, I felt led to do something different. This time I scanned the Word for God’s loving, kind, softer phrases.
I didn’t do it to tickle my ears. I did it to heal.
I even consciously skipped over the scriptural rebukes, searching for God’s love for me. This worked better for me—not just for me, but for my husband too.
I say it helped my husband, because the disciplining words of God got all mixed up in my brain to the point where I became my husband’s enabler, in a way.
I enabled him because of fear.
And I feared because I forgot about God’s love for me.
But this? This was like getting those little valentines cards in elementary school, and saying “Oh, I never knew He liked me that much!”
After absorbing the tender words of this kind Father, I realized I would be okay, even if my husband didn’t like the fact that I wouldn’t stand for his treatment anymore.
And because I knew God’s love, it caused me to share both God’s love and His reprimands in a way that didn’t shut him down.
While others may say this is a dangerous exercise (and while I knew I couldn’t stay in that mode forever), I do feel it was Spirit-led.
To me, the fruit is proof enough.
If you’re like me and you constantly seek out God’s correction in order to stop the pain, please understand He’s got more love than correction for you, so consider reading the Bible with a focus on God’s good feelings toward you.
And if your relationship is currently in breakdown but you don’t want to do this for a full season, consider doing it this Valentine’s week. Allow yourself seven days of respite during this hard time.
And please know, I’m praying that God’s love will comfort you during this week, and beyond.
Feel free to write in the comments section new things you’re discovering about how much God loves YOU! If there’s interaction, I’ll add one of my own discoveries.