Is Anyone Happily Married Anymore?

I was asked a question: “I’m getting married soon, but I keep hearing horror stories. Is anyone glad they got married? Are any couples happily married anymore?” Here’s how I answered:

I’m glad I got married.

And I’m happy I married my husband almost 22 years ago.

It’s pretty great when we shut out life’s distractions and maintain our couple-bubble, giggling and carrying on like teenagers.

But here’s the thing…

Being happily married doesn’t mean all things are great between us all the time. It doesn’t mean we don’t have problems.

That’s what I used to think being ‘happily married’ meant: no problems, just sunshine and roses all the time.

The longer I’m married, however, the more I realize being happily married is something different.

-It’s being able to weather the storms together instead of letting them rip you apart.

-It’s being able to resolve disagreements in a way that keeps you truly together instead of pasting on fake smiles and becoming roommates.

-It’s being able to look at each other’s wrinkles and grays and cellulite and love-handles, knowing you’re growing old together–instead of defaulting to the flawless ones for happiness.

There’s something good about not having to be happy all the time. Happiness is so fleeting, it seems silly to expect a marriage to maintain that state.

But ‘good’?

Marriage can still be good even when life isn’t happy.