Friends say I should leave–What should I do? (3 Things to Try) – 5.05S

What should you do if the addict keeps relapsing/betraying you–especially if your friends keep telling you to leave? Should you divorce? Should you stay? Can life get any better if he keeps relapsing and lying? We talk about this, while giving you 3 things to try.

0:00 Intro
0:07 Question: My friends say I should leave my husband because he keeps relapsing–what do you think?
0:26 Lori’s thoughts (what she told one friend)
0:48 You can stay and have a really good life
1:01 Solution 1: God / Viewing the relationship differently
2:50 Narcotics Anonymous says it this way
3:34 Relapse is not inevitable if…
3:54 Solution 2: What makes recovery easier
4:23 Solution 3: “Give back” to your wife versus to a group (and why)
4:58 What Jay used to say about his relationship with God

https://thecouplecure.com – Jay and Lori’s website
https://pornpainhealed.com – Lori’s site for betrayed partners
https://porniskillingme.com – Jay’s site for porn addiction recovery

#betrayal
#relationships
#pornaddiction
#marriageadvice

He Lies about Me to His Counselor (“my apology should be enough!”) — 5.04S

In our work, we have seen some husband’s who have lied about their wives to the helping community–lying to pastors, counselors, family and friends–about her. Or the husband will diagnose her with a mental disorder of some sort. We address that topic, as well as what a partner can do, in this situation.

0:00 Intro & Question
0:34 When the husband thinks, “My apology should be enough!”
0:50 One early professional opinion
1:13 Solution for partners (and what the addict can do)
2:16 The main goal of his helping community
2:47 A probable truth about your husband
3:07 Solution: One thing you can say to your husband
3:43 Solution: Another thing you can say

https://thecouplecure.com – Jay and Lori’s website
https://pornpainhealed.com – Lori’s site for betrayed partners
https://porniskillingme.com – Jay’s site for porn addiction recovery

#betrayal
#relationships
#pornaddiction
#marriageadvice

What To Watch Out for as I Heal? (husband, nurse her back to health) – 5.03S

There are many things I wish I had known right after D-Day… things that would have helped me recover more quickly. In this video, I cover several of them, and Jay gives extra input from the addict-who’s-found-sobriety point of view. (Please note: We do not condone hitting your spouse. If this is happening, please reach out to your local shelters/authorities.)

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:23 Coming down hard on yourself regarding boundaries
0:55 I’m in!!! I’m out!!! (what many guys do with this and one Solution)
2:46 Solution: How to find safe people & safe counselors
5:05 One way to keep from being blinded: Change your job description (Guys, nurse her back to health)
8:16 Solution to “falling for lines”
9:53 One clear sign Jay was taking his addiction recovery seriously
10:22 Solution to “You’re being too sensitive!”
11:16 Getting back at him / betraying yourself
12:58 Some addicts think, “It’s a license to keep acting out”

https://thecouplecure.com – Jay and Lori’s website
https://pornpainhealed.com – Lori’s site for betrayed partners
https://porniskillingme.com – Jay’s site for porn addiction recovery

#betrayal
#relationships
#pornaddiction
#marriageadvice

Can He REALLY Recover (without much outside help)? – 5.02S

Can an addict get sober without a lot of outside help? While it can happen, this video dives deeper into this question. We’ll also cover some basics about what addiction recovery looks like.

0:00 Intro
0:07 Question: Is it possible for my husband to be 90% recovered if he’s never been assessed and hasn’t done much recovery work?
0:30 Has he become a new kind of addict (and how long recovery can take)
1:24 A Basic definition of recovery (and white-knuckling)
1:44 The guys who sober up quickly
2:14 The bigger work of recovery

https://thecouplecure.com – Jay and Lori’s website
https://pornpainhealed.com – Lori’s site for betrayed partners
https://porniskillingme.com – Jay’s site for porn addiction recovery

#betrayal
#relationships
#pornaddiction
#marriageadvice

He Goes to Shame and Depression (what can I do?) – 5.01S

Have you ever brought up how someone’s actions caused you pain–only to have them go to shame or depression? What can a woman do in that situation? That is the question covered in this video.

0:00 Intro
0:07 Question: I can’t bring up my pain or things I need to recover or he goes to shame/depression–so what can I do?
0:31 A real disorder or emotional extortion?
0:58 Solution: one way to tell which it is
1:17 If it is a severe depression (or somewhere in the middle)
1:55 If he doesn’t read
2:20 Jay’s answer (the man might be repulsed by himself)
3:30 The value of working in groups
3:27 Solution: two things you can tell the addict

https://thecouplecure.com – Jay and Lori’s website
https://pornpainhealed.com – Lori’s site for betrayed partners
https://porniskillingme.com – Jay’s site for porn addiction recovery

#betrayal
#relationships
#pornaddiction
#marriageadvice

When Marriage Counselors Divorce (Season 5 intro) – 5.00

In this video, we discuss a difficult topic, so if you’re not up for that right now, feel free to come back later. But it’s happened often enough over the last several years we thought we would cover it. And that hard reality is this: marriages in this particular helping community have been ending, or there’s been hidden relapse. It’s a serious topic, but we strive to give you some hope.

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:10 How this season will go
1:41 Marriages in this field are ending (relapsing)
2:17 Jay’s sobriety/our update (how to help)
5:15 If that happened to us (recovery is more than the addiction)
7:46 Regarding those relationships that have ended
8:33 Our marriage therapists divorced
9:24 Solution: avoiding complacency
10:21 Solution: a critical step (healthy community)
10:55 How we strive to help
11:45 Lori’s answer to: It must be so romantic
12:33 What we hope to give you this season (have questions?)

https://thecouplecure.com – Jay and Lori’s website
https://pornpainhealed.com – Lori’s site for betrayed partners
https://porniskillingme.com – Jay’s site for porn addiction recovery

#betrayal
#relationships
#pornaddiction
#marriageadvice