Transitioning from dating to marriage has its challenges, even without addictions. But healing a relationship after betrayal is even more challenging. Here are some things you can do to make the process easier–without resenting your spouse–especially if you’re trying to rebuild trust.
Rebuilding trust takes more than honest answers to the questions you are asked. You have to share what is going on for you without being prompted. This is huge in rebuilding trust after betrayal.
Connection doesn’t just happen. You have to make plans and create opportunities to connect. This episode shows specific ways to do this that may work better for both partners.
This video covers some brain science behind video games. We also discuss how Jay replaced his entertainment addiction with a bigger life so he could finally feel satisfied.
This episode covers video games and hobbies, and how being distracted by learning things can harm trust restoration. We also discuss how entertainment actually helped our relationship.
In this video we discuss two addictions we haven’t covered before, as well as 2 different kinds of values. WE also discuss the issue of faking vulnerability.
How do you know if you should stay or go? And what would cause Lori to say, “I am more important than ___”? We discuss those topics with author and coach, Matthew Fray, as well as what if he never gets it?
In this conversation with Matthew Fray, we discuss different viewpoints if it appears the guy isn’t ‘all in.’ We also cover one thing Lori HAD to start trusting Jay would do.
How can a guy keep himself from mistreating–or even abusing–his partner? And how do you even start talking about those behaviors? Those are a couple of topics we discuss with author Matthew Fray in this video.
Are safety and trust the same thing? This video will look at safety and trust from different angles, and it also covers why a guy may get defensive over those topics, and “What if the guy doesn’t change?”
In the continued conversation with Matt Fray, we cover a few different kinds of guys, including guys who get defensive, guys who fix, guys who ‘don’t get it,’ and guys who are teachable. We also discuss why Lori would say, “That’s not how relationships work,” and why Matt would say, “Can you just care?”
How does validation heal broken trust… especially if he constantly chooses himself over her? And how can he conquer the monsters betrayal usually brings? We discuss these with Matt Fray in this video, as well as how just agreeing on the surface can harm relationships.
This video covers 3 places guys get stuck in broken trust, how he can connect with her pain after broken trust, and what to know if a guy is saying, “Aren’t you over that yet?”.
Disagreements can lead to 3 types of invalidation, as well as 1 unique way invalidation erodes trust–especially when she feels he doesn’t understand her pain. We discuss this with Matt Fray, as well as a couple things the guy can do instead.
Why is validation one quick way to heal trust? Because without it she will have a difficult time healing within the relationship. This video covers that concept, as well as why sexual affairs may be easier than emotional affairs. (Jay and I also talk about the guys we have a difficult time helping.)
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