Quick Tip: Insomnia

We’re busy editing the next season of podcasts, so I thought I’d post something quick for you…

One common result of betrayal trauma is insomnia. Many, if not most, of my clients have struggled with it.

You have probably noticed this dynamic: It’s one thing to not sleep, but it’s worse when you have a lot to do the next day. Because then just the fact that you’re not sleeping can cause enough stress to make it harder to drift off again.

I’ve had many nights like that: I struggled with insomnia through most of my life, but it got worse after the last D-Day. And while it’s gotten better since my healing years, it still comes around from time to time.

So today I thought I’d share something I heard last year:

Resting is nearly as beneficial as sleep.

Here’s the tip:
Remembering this when I can’t sleep allows me to stop worrying about the fact that I’m not sleeping. It calms my mind enough to not stress about it so much that it keeps me awake.

I know there’s debate on how long to stay in bed when you’re tossing and turning, but I’ve found this information very helpful in calming my mind enough to keep my body from tossing and turning, allowing it to rest instead… sometimes resting enough to fall back asleep.

I hope this helps.

Have you struggled with sleep issues? What have you found helpful over the years?

Comments 3

  1. I heard the same thing a long time ago. Now I’m more relaxed when i can’t sleep. It’s a good time to spend time with the Lord in prayer.

  2. I definitely experience the stress compounding when I focus on the fact I’m not sleeping, thereby making it harder to fall asleep. I had always been a light sleeper, awakening to the slightest sound & then having trouble falling back to sleep. It’s weird that I started having serious sleep issues around the time my husband was getting into porn (I didn’t know it). Sometimes I’d lie in bed, trying to “rest,” but not falling asleep till 4,5, or 6 in the morning. Since discovery, it has been much harder to “rest.” I can’t be still & keep my mind off of “things.” For me, controlled breathing has helped. I’ve had the greatest success with 4-7-8 breathing–breathe in (mouth closed) to a count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 7, then exhale (mouth open) to a count of 8. I do it lying down in bed when it is time to go to sleep. The guy who first promoted this technique (don’t remember his name, but he’s got a YouTube video on it) said to start with 4 repetitions & work up to 8. This doesn’t work every night for me, but it sure helps me to fall asleep a lot more times than I would otherwise. I have actually fallen asleep holding my breath (for a few seconds) & wake myself up gasping, then fall back to sleep.

    1. Post

      Interesting that you began having serious sleep issues when your husband was getting into porn. Similar thing happened to me. Back in late-2006 I began having panic attacks. I just had this bad feeling we were heading toward an economic collapse, which ended up happening in 2007-2008. BUT the panic attacks also happened as my husband was getting back into porn.

      Weird how that happens!

      Great tip about the controlled breathing! I’ve done a little of that before, but I haven’t tried this combination for falling asleep. But Iv’e heard it works because of the build up of CO2, or something.

      (I love the story about falling asleep holding your breath. Cute!)

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