The second half of this video explains how to “Rage at the Addiction” in a way that actually helps you heal more quickly. (Clicking on the timestamps below will take you to
Porn addiction, betrayal and lies can wreck a couple. An addict has to be ready to release his old coping mechanisms. Jay and Lori also cover their experience with addiction and fear, as well as what surrender looks like. They also address the difference between Savior and Boss.
0:00 Intro & Step 6 (Preparing for this…)
1:55 “Being entirely ready” means getting rid of ‘tools’ that help only me
3:08 Jesus appears to ask a stupid question but it applies to addicts***
4:52 But those tools have been effective in these ways…
5:18 Why it’s challenging (and how it’s played out in Jay’s life)
This Step is about addicts not lying to themselves anymore—and not hiding the truth about themselves anymore. It’s about getting real, and why.
In this episode we cover:
-Step 5 of the 12-Steps
-How Jay switched harmful addictions
-How there are different layers to addiction and lust…
Withholding information (also known as lying) is common, especially with porn and sex addiction. That’s why this step is crucial to…
Applying the 12-Steps to betrayal pain only causes more pain. Yet the 12-Step Program CAN be effective for addiction recovery.
This is because the treatment for addiction and lying is MUCH DIFFERENT than healing the pain and trauma of betrayal. They require different recovery programs.
So in this episode, we cover:
-Step 3 of the 12-Steps, and how to be careful if you’re trying to rebuild trust
-Surrendering all, and how God
The addict’s ways are a type of insanity, and in order to get better, he has to depend on a Power greater than himself to restore him to sanity. A wife need him to do this, but even if he doesn’t, she can still be RESTORED!
This episode covers:
-Step 2 of the 12 Steps of Addiction Recovery
-Believing in a Power greater than ourselves
-The root of
While our relationships may become unsustainable as betrayed wives, this episode shares tips for our partner’s recovery, what powerlessness is and isn’t, as well as how his addiction destroys trust.
Here’s a summary:
-Step 1 of the 12 Steps
-How it reflects the steps toward God
-What heals more quickly
0:34 What this season is based on
2:04 Step 1’s key phrases
2:27 What Jay sees with the guys he works with
3:02 A different perspective on our powerlessness
3:57 The difficulty Jay had with this step
In Season 3, Jay will be covering his take on one popular addiction recovery method, and Lori will be addressing how something more is needed to rebuild trust between two people. She’ll also cover how the things Jay covers reflect the steps toward God.
This episode is a preview of Season 3, as well as an update of where we were in 2020. It ends with a behind-the-scenes look into our lives.
Here’s our latest episode, which covers
-What happened to Jay and Lori in 2020, including run-ins with the IRS
-A behind-the-scenes look at how they celebrated their 25th Anniversary
0:22 Preview of Season 3, and Jay’s history with it
1:37 What Lori will be covering/cautioning in Season 3
2:18 For those who’ve been through betrayal trauma (look for the “S”)
2:59 Where were we in 2020?
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this website, and for that I apologize. I’ve continued writing, and mentoring and leading groups, and those activities on top of the horrible events of last year kept me from making it out here like I wanted.
(For an update as well as a behind the scenes look into our life, check out Episode 3.0 where we talk about what happened to us in 2020.)
This post is all about the true end goal of recovery: JOY.
So I hope you enjoy the blooper reel, which is what I call “basically, me being stupid” : )
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