I heard it again yesterday… another woman said, “Not that I want to harm myself, but I sure am okay with God taking me home.” (Writing this brings tears to my eyes because it says so much about the despair you may be feeling right this very minute.)
Her words made my thoughts turn to heaven.
Now a lot of women who come to me have been so deadened that it’s difficult for them to dream of a better life. Yet many of them still look toward heaven.
Thinking on it this morning, a term I heard at church came to mind: “We’re living in the Already and the Not Yet.”
But then another thought came to mind: “God… ‘already in heaven’ after betrayal?!?! ‘Already’ receiving your promises? How can this be true? It can feel like hell, not heaven!”
The Already
Now, I don’t mean to make light of what betrayed women have experienced. It’s enough trauma to rewire their brain, which tells me it’s no-joke.
And while this is true, there is still some respite to be found knowing that there is a God who grieves with us… and angers over this with us.
In fact, one time I asked God why it felt like He was so silent. I felt His answer, “Because I am grieving right alongside you.” And this brought the blessings of heaven just one step closer to me, helping me know God is not unacquainted with this grief.
I was living a-little-bit-in-heaven Already.
The Not Yet
Yet we’re not in heaven yet, and this is where women say they’re ready to be taken home.
Despair
Longing
Hurting
(Tears!)
Feeling the pain of the “Not Yet.”
BUT
There is another truth to this: When we’re in heaven, all this won’t matter to us anymore.
It won’t matter anymore!
It won’t hurt anymore!!!
And the thought of that gives me a bit of peace.
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What thoughts come to your mind about this topic?