What if He Doesn’t Want to Quit Porn?

I’ve been asked several times:  “Do you work with partners or just couples?  Like, what if he doesn’t want to quit using porn?”

My answer?  I work with both partners and couples, but I typically work with the partner first.   Why?  Because it’s rare for a couple to come to me, both ready to heal.  Most of the time the partner comes to me first because the pain has become excruciating or she’s sick of his porn use.

But what if he doesn’t want to quit?  I have ways to find out if that’s really true.

HOW IT USUALLY GOES

A woman contacts me through my website by scheduling an introductory call.  We talk for an hour or two, during which she usually says she doesn’t think her guy will ever quit porn.

And that’s where I start with her.  I start with the possibility he may never want to get better.  But I also hold out hope that we can persuade him to want something more than just porn.  Because most men do.

The great thing is: just in reaching out, she’s already begun to change.

During our first few sessions, I work with her to lift her burden and give her hope. By our second or third visit, her mate senses something is different.  She’s finally getting his attention, and she hasn’t even said anything to him yet.

Then (if she wants to make it work with him) I give her tools to really get his attention. I walk her step-by-step through the techniques.  I tell her what to say and how to say it in a way he can’t argue with, so she can begin creating a healthier life.

He’s then faced with a decision. And because these techniques are effective, the guy usually chooses to rebuild the relationship.  It’s at this point he begins addressing his addiction.

We work with them as individuals for one to three months.  Then my husband and I work with them two-on-two to ‘stop the bleeding’ and help heal the relationship.

It’s not an easy process, but we keep it as simple as we can, while also tailoring it to them as individuals and as a couple.

YOUR GUY?

So, what happens if your guy doesn’t want to get better?  I have ways to help him want to get better.  But even if he never does, you still deserve a happy, whole, and healthy life, don’t you?

And whether you take this path or not, ultimately I hope you find a bigger and better life. And I hope your guy chooses the same.