He HAS to Give Up Old Tools (Step 6) – 3.06S

A porn addict has to be ready to release his old coping mechanisms of acting out, betrayal and lying, so in this episode, Jay and Lori cover their experience with addiction and fear, as well as what surrender looks like. They also address the difference between Jesus being the Savior versus the Boss.

0:00 Intro & Step 6 (Preparing for this…)
1:55 “Being entirely ready” means getting rid of ‘tools’ that help only me
3:08 Jesus appears to ask a stupid question but it applies to addicts***
4:52 But those tools have been effective in these ways…
5:18 Why it’s challenging (and how it’s played out in Jay’s life)
6:15 “Tool” and what we see with our clients
7:45 We may be powerless over this too… (Character defects are at the root, and what to do about it)
9:00 Another way to go through the 12 steps (and what Lori struggles with)***
9:59 Another level, another devil, and how Jay’s tools become weapons
11:15 When recovery (and Christianity) can actually become a problem (but it’s different after betrayal)
12:07 We CAN change defect in our character and we CAN change our preferences
13:33 Surrendering our will = Surrendering (this) / How this relates to Christianity (Savior vs. Boss)***
15:37 The first two questions Jay asks the men / Jay’s experience
17:05 How Lori handled her fears***

The audio can be found on most major podcast providers–just look for the “Coffee with the Couple Cure” channel.

The video can be found here:


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