Are safety and trust the same thing? This video will look at safety and trust from different angles, and it also covers why a guy may get defensive over those topics, and “What if the guy doesn’t change?”
4 Kinds of Guys (“can you just care?”) – 4.14S
In the continued conversation with Matt Fray, we cover a few different kinds of guys, including guys who get defensive, guys who fix, guys who ‘don’t get it,’ and guys who are teachable. We also discuss why Lori would say, “That’s not how relationships work,” and why Matt would say, “Can you just care?”
How to Heal Broken Trust (who will he choose) – 4.13S
How does validation heal broken trust… especially if he constantly chooses himself over her? And how can he conquer the monsters betrayal usually brings? We discuss these with Matt Fray in this video, as well as how just agreeing on the surface can harm relationships.
How to Heal Broken Trust (who will he choose) – 4.13S
How does validation heal broken trust… especially if he constantly chooses himself over her? And how can he conquer the monsters betrayal usually brings? We discuss these with Matt Fray in this video, as well as how just agreeing on the surface can harm relationships.
“Aren’t You Over That Yet?” (his pain vs. her pain) – 4.12S
This video covers 3 places guys get stuck in broken trust, how he can connect with her pain after broken trust, and what to know if a guy is saying, “Aren’t you over that yet?”.
He Doesn’t Understand My Pain (3 invalidations) – 4.11S
Disagreements can lead to 3 types of invalidation, as well as 1 unique way invalidation erodes trust–especially when she feels he doesn’t understand her pain. We discuss this with Matt Fray, as well as a couple things the guy can do instead.
One Quick Way to Restore Trust (she can’t heal unless…) – 4.10S
Why is validation one quick way to heal trust? Because without it she will have a difficult time healing within the relationship. This video covers that concept, as well as why sexual affairs may be easier than emotional affairs. (Jay and I also talk about the guys we have a difficult time helping.)
What Makes Men “Get It”? (if an affair is the goal) – 4.09S
What’s the first thing a guy should do if he’s harmed the relationship, and what can make him “get it” more quickly? Also what can the lady do if his goal is to have an affair? We discuss those topics with author Matt Fray.
Are Emotional Affairs Actually Affairs? (it’s not difficult) – 4.08S
Unfortunate ideas can get twisted in a person’s mind, leading them to have affairs; ideas like, “But if my wife were the right person…” We discuss this with author Matt Fray, and we also cover the question: Are emotional affairs truly affairs–and what can make it all less difficult?
Can Lying Actually Cause PTSD? (needs addicts focus on) – 4.07S
Can porn use and lies lead to PTSD? And what can be done when someone says, “Why won’t you lighten up?” We cover those topics in our continued talk with author, Matt Fray.
She’s Not Meeting My Needs! (is safety actually a need?) – 4.06S
Are her needs more important than his? No, but as you’ll see in this video, his most important needs are usually already met. Our female clients can’t say the same, and this reduces feelings of safety. But is safety actually a need?
This is How Marriage Ends – 4.01S
Hear how one man says he ‘forced’ his wife to walk away from the marriage…
Addiction Recovery & Betrayal Trauma: Step 1 (His Powerlessness)
While our relationships may become unsustainable as betrayed wives, this episode shares tips for our partner’s recovery, what powerlessness is and isn’t, as well as how his addiction destroys trust.
Here’s a summary:
-Step 1 of the 12 Steps
-How it reflects the steps toward God
-What heals more quickly
Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:34 What this season is based on
2:04 Step 1’s key phrases
2:27 What Jay sees with the guys he works with
3:02 A different perspective on our powerlessness
3:57 The difficulty Jay had with this step
Betrayal Trauma: Season 2 Recap (& “Me Being Stupid” : ) – 2.18S
Hello Ladies,
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this website, and for that I apologize. I’ve continued writing, and mentoring and leading groups, and those activities on top of the horrible events of last year kept me from making it out here like I wanted.
(For an update as well as a behind the scenes look into our life, check out Episode 3.0 where we talk about what happened to us in 2020.)
This post is all about the true end goal of recovery: JOY.
So I hope you enjoy the blooper reel, which is what I call “basically, me being stupid” : )