He HAS to Give Up Old Tools (Step 6) – 3.06S

Porn addiction, betrayal and lies can wreck a couple. An addict has to be ready to release his old coping mechanisms. Jay and Lori also cover their experience with addiction and fear, as well as what surrender looks like. They also address the difference between Savior and Boss.

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro & Step 6 (Preparing for this…)
1:55 “Being entirely ready” means getting rid of ‘tools’ that help only me
3:08 Jesus appears to ask a stupid question but it applies to addicts***
4:52 But those tools have been effective in these ways…
5:18 Why it’s challenging (and how it’s played out in Jay’s life)

He HAS to Admit It (Betrayal Pain and Step 5 Cautions) – 3.05S

This Step is about addicts not lying to themselves anymore—and not hiding the truth about themselves anymore. It’s about getting real, and why.

In this episode we cover:
-Step 5 of the 12-Steps
-How Jay switched harmful addictions
-How there are different layers to addiction and lust…

Addiction Recovery & Betrayal Trauma: Step 1 (His Powerlessness)

While our relationships may become unsustainable as betrayed wives, this episode shares tips for our partner’s recovery, what powerlessness is and isn’t, as well as how his addiction destroys trust.  

Here’s a summary:
-Step 1 of the 12 Steps
-How it reflects the steps toward God
-What heals more quickly

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:34 What this season is based on
2:04 Step 1’s key phrases
2:27 What Jay sees with the guys he works with
3:02 A different perspective on our powerlessness
3:57 The difficulty Jay had with this step

How Betrayal Trauma is Made Worse by One Addiction Recovery Method (Season 3 Preview and Behind the Scenes Look) – 3.0S

In Season 3, Jay will be covering his take on one popular addiction recovery method, and Lori will be addressing how something more is needed to rebuild trust between two people.  She’ll also cover how the things Jay covers reflect the steps toward God.

This episode is a preview of Season 3, as well as an update of where we were in 2020.  It ends with a behind-the-scenes look into our lives.

Description:
Here’s our latest episode, which covers
-What happened to Jay and Lori in 2020, including run-ins with the IRS
-A behind-the-scenes look at how they celebrated their 25th Anniversary

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:22 Preview of Season 3, and Jay’s history with it
1:37 What Lori will be covering/cautioning in Season 3
2:18 For those who’ve been through betrayal trauma (look for the “S”)
2:59 Where were we in 2020?

Betrayal Trauma: Season 2 Recap (& “Me Being Stupid” : ) – 2.18S

Hello Ladies,

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this website, and for that I apologize.  I’ve continued writing, and mentoring and leading groups, and those activities on top of the horrible events of last year kept me from making it out here like I wanted.

(For an update as well as a behind the scenes look into our life, check out Episode 3.0 where we talk about what happened to us in 2020.)

This post is all about the true end goal of recovery:  JOY.

So I hope you enjoy the blooper reel, which is what I call “basically, me being stupid”  : )