Would’ve Passed a Lie Detector Test? (one way he lied) – 6.01S

Jay confesses something he’s never told anyone before: One way he lied to keep his addiction hidden. (Hint: it’s one thing some addicts do to keep their secrets.) He’s also asked if he thinks that tactic would have passed a polygraph. We also share a few techniques that might help in this situation. And stay until the end to see us in a real-life moment.

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:31 What is one lying technique Jay used that he’s never told anyone about?
2:15 Would he have passed a lie detector test?
2:50 Some other addicts do this too (the difference between openness and honesty)
4:48 Solution: A way to (possibly) know if he’s lying this way*
5:39 Solution: One way to get to the truth*
7:13 Solution for addicts: A way to rebuild trust (BUT…)
10:40 When Jay would use this lying technique
13.34 Business trips used to scare Lori, and two things that changed that sinking feeling
14:50 The lighter side of us (BTS)

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To Rebuild Trust – https://thecouplecure.com/contact-me/
To Recover from Betrayal Trauma – https://pornpainhealed.com/contact-me/
To Recover from Addiction – https://porniskillingme.com/contact-me/
To Say Thanks (“Tip Jar”) – https://buy.stripe.com/8wM6pe74F9LsdkA8ww

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Who is This Channel For?

If porn addiction has you stuck–whether you want freedom as an addict, or you want the pain to stop as a betrayed spouse, or you need trust rebuilt in your relationship–this podcast can help. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay’s porn addiction, but we found ways to make life and marriage much better than before. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we’re using those best practices to help you find the peace, joy and love you’re seeking.

#betrayal
#relationships
#pornaddiction
#marriageadvice

He HAS to Give Up Old Tools (Step 6) – 3.06S

Porn addiction, betrayal and lies can wreck a couple. An addict has to be ready to release his old coping mechanisms. Jay and Lori also cover their experience with addiction and fear, as well as what surrender looks like. They also address the difference between Savior and Boss.

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro & Step 6 (Preparing for this…)
1:55 “Being entirely ready” means getting rid of ‘tools’ that help only me
3:08 Jesus appears to ask a stupid question but it applies to addicts***
4:52 But those tools have been effective in these ways…
5:18 Why it’s challenging (and how it’s played out in Jay’s life)

He HAS to Admit It (Betrayal Pain and Step 5 Cautions) – 3.05S

This Step is about addicts not lying to themselves anymore—and not hiding the truth about themselves anymore. It’s about getting real, and why.

In this episode we cover:
-Step 5 of the 12-Steps
-How Jay switched harmful addictions
-How there are different layers to addiction and lust…

He HAS to Surrender All (12-Step cautions for betrayal pain) – 3.03S

Applying the 12-Steps to betrayal pain only causes more pain. Yet the 12-Step Program CAN be effective for addiction recovery.

This is because the treatment for addiction and lying is MUCH DIFFERENT than healing the pain and trauma of betrayal. They require different recovery programs.

So in this episode, we cover:
-Step 3 of the 12-Steps, and how to be careful if you’re trying to rebuild trust
-Surrendering all, and how God

Restoring Sanity (12-Step cautions for betrayal pain) – 3.02S

The addict’s ways are a type of insanity, and in order to get better, he has to depend on a Power greater than himself to restore him to sanity.  A wife need him to do this, but even if he doesn’t, she can still be RESTORED!

This episode covers:
-Step 2 of the 12 Steps of Addiction Recovery
-Believing in a Power greater than ourselves
-The root of

Addiction Recovery & Betrayal Trauma: Step 1 (His Powerlessness)

While our relationships may become unsustainable as betrayed wives, this episode shares tips for our partner’s recovery, what powerlessness is and isn’t, as well as how his addiction destroys trust.  

Here’s a summary:
-Step 1 of the 12 Steps
-How it reflects the steps toward God
-What heals more quickly

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:34 What this season is based on
2:04 Step 1’s key phrases
2:27 What Jay sees with the guys he works with
3:02 A different perspective on our powerlessness
3:57 The difficulty Jay had with this step

How Betrayal Trauma is Made Worse by One Addiction Recovery Method (Season 3 Preview and Behind the Scenes Look) – 3.0S

In Season 3, Jay will be covering his take on one popular addiction recovery method, and Lori will be addressing how something more is needed to rebuild trust between two people.  She’ll also cover how the things Jay covers reflect the steps toward God.

This episode is a preview of Season 3, as well as an update of where we were in 2020.  It ends with a behind-the-scenes look into our lives.

Description:
Here’s our latest episode, which covers
-What happened to Jay and Lori in 2020, including run-ins with the IRS
-A behind-the-scenes look at how they celebrated their 25th Anniversary

Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:22 Preview of Season 3, and Jay’s history with it
1:37 What Lori will be covering/cautioning in Season 3
2:18 For those who’ve been through betrayal trauma (look for the “S”)
2:59 Where were we in 2020?

Betrayal Trauma: Season 2 Recap (& “Me Being Stupid” : ) – 2.18S

Hello Ladies,

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on this website, and for that I apologize.  I’ve continued writing, and mentoring and leading groups, and those activities on top of the horrible events of last year kept me from making it out here like I wanted.

(For an update as well as a behind the scenes look into our life, check out Episode 3.0 where we talk about what happened to us in 2020.)

This post is all about the true end goal of recovery:  JOY.

So I hope you enjoy the blooper reel, which is what I call “basically, me being stupid”  : )